everytime im in the car i asked for whose ever driving to crash in to a tree or SOMETHING?!

my emotion are numb, i had to many deaths that are close together.i cant feel pain , love happyiness i walk around with this black stare all i ever wanna do is smoke and thats the only thing that can make me feel please god, take me next i cant handle this life i dont wanna be an adult. i dont wanna live to see 20. my heart is breaking by this pain. why have you taken these other people but me huh? why cant it be me. WHHYYY I WANNA FUCKIN KNOW WHY HASNT BEEN ME I WANNA FUCKIN DIE. IVE BEEN IN THE CAR UNDER INFLUENCE. I EVEN TOLD YOU WHEN I WAS LITTLE THAT I DIDNT WANNA LIVE LONG BUT I GUSS YOU JUST DIDNT ANSWER ME. WHHHHYYYY!??? COMME ONNN!